hey, my life in a song...

before i fall too fast
kiss me quick, but make it last
so i can see how badly this will hurt me
when you say goodbye

keep it sweet, keep it slow
let the future pass, and don't let go
but tonight i could fall too soon
to this beautiful moonlight

but you're so hypnotizing
you've got me laughing while i sing
you've got me smiling in my sleep
and i can see this unraveling
your love is where i'm falling
but please don't catch me

see this heart won't settle down
like a child running scared from a clown
i'm terrified of what you'll do
my stomach screams just when i look at you

run far away so i can breathe
even though you're far from suffocating me
i cant set my hopes too high
cause every hello ends with a goodbye

but you're so hypnotizing
you've got me laughing while i sing
you've got me smiling in my sleep
and i can see this unraveling
your love is where i'm falling
but please don't catch me

so now you see why i'm scared
i can't open up my heart without a care
but here i go, it's what i feel
and for the first time in my life i know it's real

but you're so hypnotizing
you've got me laughing while i sing
you've get me smiling in my sleep
and I can see this unraveling
your love is where i'm falling
so please don't catch me

if this is love please don't break me
i'm giving up so just catch me

i is a theif for stealin this quote from somebody's blog.

but i love it.

"There have been several times where I have been trapped under wreckage where for months I agonized and longed to be pulled out while it felt like God was being so quiet, yet in his timing he eventually did pull me out, revealing himself to me along with understanding and took me further than I could think. Yet somehow even having experienced such divine rescue and moments of such supernatural engagement, I began to forget once things began to run fairly smooth for long enough, or I should say more so when things became so busy. I’ve just been thinking about all of these things lately. I wonder how many times the word “Remember” is used in the greatest book of promises and love stories…"

-Bryce Avery, The Rocket Summer

truth in quite a few words.

I’m emo, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I’m a negro so I MUST carry a gun.
I’m blond, so I MUST be a ditz.
I’m Jamaican so I MUST smoke weed.
I’m Haitian so I MUST eat cat.
I’m Asian, so I MUST be sexy.
I’m Jewish, so I MUST be greedy.
I’m Gay, so I MUST have AIDS.
I’m a Lesbian, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I’m Arab, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I speak my mind, so I MUST be a bitch.
I’m a gay rights supporter, so I WILL go to hell.
I’m a Christian, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I’m Religious, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I’m Atheist so I MUST hate the world.
I don’t have a Religion, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I’m Republican, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I’m Democrat, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am Liberal, so I MUST be gay.
I’m southern, so I MUST be white trash.
I take (or used to take) anti-depressants, so I MUST be crazy.
I’m a guy, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I’m Irish, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I’m Indian, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I’m Native American, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I’m a cheerleader, so I MUST be a whore.
I’m a dancer, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear skirts a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I’m a punk, so I MUST do drugs.
I’m rich, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I wear black, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I’m a white girl, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I’m Cuban, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I’m not a virgin, so I MUST be easy.
I fell in love with a married man, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I’m a teenage mom, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I’m Polish, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I’m Italian, so I MUST have a “big one”.
I’m Egyptian, so I MUST be a Terrorist.
I’m pretty, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I have straight A’s, so I MUST have no social life.
I dye my hair crazy colors, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I’m into theater and arts, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a vegetarian, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I have a bunch of male friends, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have a bunch of female friends, so I MUST be a player.
I have big boobs, so I MUST be a hoe.
I’m Colombian, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I wear what I want, so I MUST be a poser.
I’m Russian, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I’m German, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I hang out with gays, so I MUST be gay too.
I’m Brazilian, so I MUST have a big butt.
I’m Puerto-Rican, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I’m Salvadorian, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I’m Polish, so I MUST be greedy.
I’m Hawaiian so I MUST be lazy.
I’m Peruvian, so I MUST like llamas.
I’m Lithuanian, so I MUST be old-fashioned and stupid.
I’m a stoner, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I’m a virgin, so I MUST be prude
I’m straight edge, so I must be violent.
I’m a female gamer, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I’m black so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I’m a girl who actually eats lunch, so I MUST be fat.
I’m single, so I MUST be ugly.
I’m a skater, so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I’m a punk, so I MUST only wear black and date only other punks.
I’m Asian, so I MUST be a nerd that does homework 24/7.
I’m Christian, so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I’m mixed, so I MUST be screwed up.
I’m Muslim, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I’m in band, so I MUST be a dork
I’m black, so I MUST believe “Jesus wuz a brotha”.
I’m Mormon, so I MUST be perfect.
I’m white and have black friends, so I MUST think I’m black.
I’m goth, so I MUST worship the devil.
I’m Hispanic, so I MUST be dirty.
I’m not like everyone else, so I MUST be a loser.
I’m overweight, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m preppy, so I MUST shun those who don’t wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I’m on a dance team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I’m young, so I MUST be naive.
I’m rich, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I’m Mexican, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I got a car for my birthday, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I’m black, so I MUST love watermelon.
I’m bi-sexual, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I’m an Asian guy, so I MUST have a small penis.
I’m a guy cheerleader, so I MUST be gay.
I’m a prep, so I MUST be rich.
I don’t like the sun, so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of friends, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight pants and I’m a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn’t hurt a fly, so I MUST be a pussy.
I support gay rights, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have artistic talent, so I MUST think little of those who don’t.
I don’t like to be in a big group, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a different sense of humor, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people off, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets greasy a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I’m defensive, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I’m a nudist, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a former prostitute, so I MUST be a whore myself.
I’m Texan, so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a goth, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m a cross-dresser, so I must be homosexual.
I draw anime, so I MUST be a freak.
I am a fangirl, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I watch porn, so I MUST be perverted.
I’m an only child, so I MUST be spoiled.
I’m intelligent, so I MUST be weak.
I am American, so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m Welsh, so I MUST love sheep
I’m a young writer, so I MUST be emo.
I’m Canadian, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I’m a guy, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I’m Canadian, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I’m Disabled, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I’m a feminist, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I’m a teenager, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I wear a big sunhat when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like blood, so I MUST be a vampire.
I’m an Albino, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and a murderer.
I’m English, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth
I’m white, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most popular person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the environment, I MUST be a tree hugging hippie.
I chat, so I MUST be having cyber-sex.
I’m Pagan, so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I’m Pagan, so I MUST worship Satan.
I’m Conservationist, so I MUST be against abortion.
I’m Swedish, so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I’m a lesbian, so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like cartoons, so I MUST be irresponsible.
I like reading, so I MUST be a loner
I have my own spiritual ideology, so I MUST be wrong or misguided.
I am Wiccan, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I disagree with my government, so I MUST be a terrorist
I am a witch, so I MUST be an old hag and fly on a broomstick.
I don’t cuss, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like games, anime, and comics, so I MUST be childish.
I’m Swedish, therefore I MUST be white.
I spot grammatical errors, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I’m gothic, so I MUST be mean.
I’m strong, so I MUST be stupid
I’m Australian, so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to Renaissance Fairs, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m gay, so I MUST be after every straight guy around.
I don’t want a boyfriend, so I MUST be Lesbian.
I’m not Christian, so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I drink and smoke, so I MUST have not have a life.
I am friends with a cutter, so I MUST be a cutter too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can’t help pointing out mistakes, so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I’m a perfectionist, so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I don’t like to talk about my personal life, so I MUST be having problems.

uh yeah.

354. MY FRIENDS TRYING TO CONTROL MY RELATIONSHIP. EXCUSE ME, BUT WE WILL DO THINGS OUR OWN WAY THANKS. JUST BECAUSE YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS FUCKED UP, DON'T TRY AND FIX WHAT ISN'T.

i love loving a song. it can't get old for some reason.

time is on our side
if we use it right regrets are faded
coming together
is better than
never letting go
of the feeling you let in
i can't imagine living alone
and containing
my every little thought inside my head

home-danger is my middle name
:)

a rant of sorts.

tonight i left my friend's house at about 11:35, and i just arrived home, at 12:40ish, from driving around my town. and thinking.

i've heard so many metaphors and similes as to what life is....
life's not a game to me.
life's not a bitch to me.
life's not a picnic to me.
life's not a highway to me.
life's not a lot of things for me.

i'm so sick of having to categorize myself.
even in a simple theory of what life means to me, i'm finding it hard to escape the ever-so tight lines of conformity.
is there ever a way to be original?
will anyone ever be able to sit there and say "i'm just me, i'm not like anyone else."?

why is it that each and every time you say something, you're thrown into a stereotype?
all people were not intended to be the same, that's for sure, but if we were meant to be individuals, why is it that all we do as humans is strive to be with ones that are alike ourselves?
what sense does that even make to begin with?

who am i?

i'm so confused.

if i say that i think life's a bitch, does that make me emo?
if i say that i think life's a picnic, does that make me an over-ecstatic prep?
if i say that i think life's a game, does that make me a lost soul; confused in their own heart?

where's the option for 'allison's mind'?

where can i go to say that my life is not like anyone else's, and that i just want to be myself... an original?

life to me is hard; but life to me is beautiful.

i'm past the point of caring if people think i'm a prep, or an emo, or a scenster.

i just wish it was easier for people to see me.
you know, the person that's really not like everyone else?
the one who's just living?
oh wait... is there even a difference?

there's gotta be another way to find myself...
one that doesn't include finding my own yellow-brick road to follow.

my life can't be defined by a simple click of my heels.
it's not all about where i am, where i'm going, or where i've been.
it's about how i'm doing it and who i trust to be there all the while.

that is what makes my life what it is:
my life is a tangled mess of emotions amidst a group of people who have the power to touch my heart more than they will ever know, and as i continue down my path, my life will be a constant ray of sunshine that only gets blocked by temporary clouds... for my life... is beautiful.

changechangechange.

it's so hard to differentiate between the sides of change.
because no matter what you do with change, there's always gonna be a good side and a bad side.

tomorrow, for instance, i'm putting purple streaks in my hair.
i feel like that's a good change, but it could go horribly wrong (knock on wood) and all my hair could fall out or something.

then, in 59 days, i'm losing someone to a few hour distance.
this one is screaming bad change to me... but i feel like something good could definitely come out of it in the end.

there's countless examples of this, and i just hate the fact that i can never make a decision because i'm always analyzing both sides.